Crusty Goes To Singapore: On Humour

Sunday, July 26, 2009

On Humour

Apparently sarcasm is not a sense of humour. For example, when the shopkeeper asks if you would like one of her tasty pastries with that bottle of ginger ale, the incorrect answer is "Oh come on now, are you trying to fatten me up?". As this comment will be responded with a thousand "Sorry Mista's" ... although you get given the drink for free.

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Mission Log

[ - ] Have a punt on the greyhounds. [Crusty's Law #50: NEVER bet on the Trots]
[ - ] Play golf (this may be a problem, there is only 1 golf course in the country and it costs $150 a round). [Updated 2-Aug] Took the offspring to Lilliputt (Ha!). Probably can't cross this one off, yet though.
[x] $10 hair cut. Found. Thanks Miss Po.
[x] 7-Eleven. Found. I think Imran (who ran the Quix express shop and the Mobile gas station at the end of our street in Narrabeen) has his brother running the joint across the road.
[x] AFL Footy. Found. Unfortunately the first Crows game on telly was the Saints flogging my mob. Show Down this week, could be tense in the new household between me and the Lass. [Updated 27-Jul] My Goodness. How are you feeling now you toofless, dole-bludging, wharf-dwelling, feral mob of Poot Adelaide supporting ratbags? Go the Crows! [Updated 17-Sep] Black arm bands all around, please. Friggin' Colliwobbles. 208 days until we're back on the field, boys. [Updated 19-Apr] Amazing - every game in every round. Was really looking forward to this year until those filthy mongrels from across town flogged the good guys mercilessly last weekend. C'mon Friggin' Crowies! [Updated 17-Mar] Well done, Boys! Sure it's the plastic silverware that they serve the kids meals with, but Pre Season or not, we'll take it! [Updated 16-Apr] I can't believe that I travelled over 6,000 km's for that. Bloody Buddy. Thank goodness the mob from Blacktown in the Work Safety outfits are up next.
[x] Chicken Schnitzel Law. Crusty's Law #33: Always try the Chicken Schnittie when you first eat in a new pub. This is not possible on this island - everything is imported. Schnitties now recorded in Bangkok and Bali. Still none on the Island. OK it is done. So it weren't in a pub. But The Minister for Fun & Finance has shown the DH that it is not all about paellas, tapa & torta - she has been trained on how to cook a Schnittie. Although it were domesticated, it was a Schnittie & Coop's. It may not stand up to the scrutiny of an audit, but I'm declaring the box ticked.
[x] Chili Crab. Found. Messy but pretty darn good.
[x] Coopers. Found. Thank you Tim (and Dr Tim). Love your work, and glad to see you’ve still got my back. Six pack of Pales in the fridge for when you, Diz and the Nordic offspring of yours make it up.
[x] Eat a meal at Hooters
[x] Find a new Local. [Updated 28-Jul] Took Dr Tim's advice - since it wasn't at our Local we moved. Coopers Pale is at the new Local.
[x] Fitness First. Found. Talk about your full service gym. You don't need to bring anything to the Singapore gym, it is all provided ... including the free cafe bar with tea, coffee and sodas - next to the cardio equipment (irony).
[x] Fox / Cable TV … Found. StarHub is the local equivalent to Fox. I think I can sate my diet for NFL, Aussie Rules and all other things sport through their offering. Doesn’t look like they have a Country Music channel, though. Will report back on the reaction of the sales lady when I ask for that. [Updated 3-Aug] No Country Music Channel ... but Chinese MTV is almost a fair trade off.
[x] Guinness. Found. (Also found Kilkenny and ABC Stout, which is a horrid local dark ale ... may have to do). [Updated 30-Jul] Awesome news, Brass Monkey fans - found Coopers Stout at the local supermarket. Love your work Mssrs Glenn & Tim Cooper!
[x] Hire or Buy a car (I sure miss CRU5TY ... she would be fun to drive here on The Island). [Updated 1-Sep-09] It's official. I'm less of a Man. The Nissan Syphilis is surely reducing my swimmer count each time I drive it.
[x] Irish Pub … Found. A few pints of Guinness and pizza consumed at the Dubliners. Update, have found second Irish pub (get this – O’Bamas) near the office. Will perform a sortie and report. Report: Loving O’B’s. The atmosphere and level of service ensure that none of the fancy pants kids from Puzzle Palace will follow me in there. [Updated 2-Oct] Following the rule of finding the Irish Pub in each city, thought Yokohama would be a challenge, not so - crisis over: The Green Sheep.
[x] McDonalds … Found. Can also report meals acquired from Burger King, Carl Jr’s, Swensens, Ben & Jerry’s, Subway & Pizza Hut. And I hear that McD’s and KFC will deliver … adding that to the Mission Log.
[x] NFL footy. Found. Watched replays of the All Sports Network channel … unfortunately the first match was my beloved Dolphins getting caned by the Ravens.
[x] Ride bikes in a linear park with the kids. [Updated 27-Sep] It is fair to say that there is a lot more for a wobbly 7 year old on 2 wheels to dodge here on the bike paths. After cleaning up a few bins, two maids, an old man with an umbrella on a bike ... and most of a bush, I felt she deserved the rest of the day off. Meanwhile, in the bike carrier on Dad's bike the Boy ... fell asleep.
[x] Starbucks … Found. In fact I think there is 1 Starbucks for every 5 Singaporeans.
[x] Visit a ferin Country. Admittedly it was for work, but we've now Thai'd a yeller ribbon around the tree. [Updated 22-Dec] KL. [Updated 4-Apr] Echo Beach. Far away. (Commercializing real quick In Time.) [Updated 15-Jun] Got the maid & kids all Tongue Thai’d in Phuket. [Updated 2-Oct] Nissan headquarters. Er, Yokohama. [Updated 28-Nov] 8 countries. 5 weeks. Still spinning.

Crusty Goes To Singapore

Sunday, July 26, 2009

On Humour

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