On Gettin' Tongue Thai'd

I must have taken a Left where I generally take a Right … ‘cause I ended up in the Kingdom of Tieland. Which is an unsual name, because it’s too hot to wear one there.

So everything in Thailand seems to require officials filling out forms that are given to other officials that take you somewhere else for the form to get stamped, and then escort you to another official that eventually takes you to the … taxi.

And despite what the form says about the Department of Land Transport requiring the meter and any tolls to be paid, the cabbie will immediately negotiate. So after getting over the intial shock of the cabbie suggesting I pay $500 to get from the airport to the hotel, I start doing some mental ‘rithmetic.

It took a while.

There are a lot of zeros and decimal points when you’re trying to calculate and exchange rate of 0.042 … at which point I realized I was haggling over a $20 or $21 fare. 500 Baht would be fine.

The ride took over 2 hours. Who's a winner now?

Now being a little more oriented to run-down-shack-and-open-space, the immediate impact of the densely packed city of Bangkok was a little tough on the system. But once you give up the need for personal space and get on with it, there are some delights to be found.

Like when I thought the cabbie had dropped me at The Palace, but it turned out to be and incredibly fancy hotel (which charges the same rate as a Best Western back home). We’re talking serious gilding in gold, stunning lighting, those massive chairs with all the deep velvet colors, waterfalls, stately palm trees, and seriously fancy, ornate outfits upon the ever bowing and praying staff.

Although I thought they’d mistaken me for one of their deities (it happens … but usually only back at the holler), it turns out the bowing and praying thing is some form of respectful greeting.

So I’m feeling like a total stranger in a strange land, in an uncomfortably fancy-pants hotel, where not too many local people can speak a lick of English (well, my Hillbilly version of English), and then as I swing around the corner to find the lifts ... I was going to be all right.

On another fancy display, there are some elegant black and white photos of the rich and famous that have stayed in the palace, er – hotel.

Second photo at the top of the board … is The Man.

Ronald Reagan.

I'm gonna be all right.

(Normally I’d be a little put out that Ronnie was second, but since Maggie Thatcher was in first, I won’t be sending my complaint to customer service.)